Sonnetoptics.net

The global tech community was devastated when the now infamous HP notebook was proven to be racist on youtube when it was not able to track the face of African Americans.

On the heals of this news once again the tech community is sent reeling and running for cover with the report Cthulhu, the ancient sleeping god of all evil, dark master of the void and destroyer of souls has launched a class action suit on behalf of all giant octopoid beings when it was revealed that the Iphones vaunted touch screen does not recognize large poised spiked suckered tentacles of other worldly beings in its touch and swipe programming.

   “I think it goes without saying that we at apple were aiming the Iphone more for the human market.” Laughed Doug Blatherton of Apple Computer’s in a formal statement, dismissing the very idea of the case. Moments later his head exploded as he emitted a howling cry of blood curdling horror before his soul was sucked into the cold emptiness of a dark and nameless void.

    When reached by a media teleconference at CES Cthulhu promised to burn to ashes the soul of those that “do not account for my evil form” and to “take them for all the money they have. You better be ready Bill Gates!” He howled in incalculable rage. When the smug Jimmy Winkle of Tech Crunch dared to remind the master of eternal damnation that it was Steve Jobs that ran Apple not Bill Gates, his body was instantly blown apart as if struck by a hundred spinning blades at once, showering the gathered stunned media with flaming blood and entrails.

   This reporter would like to go on the official record as saying Cthulhu the whispering lord of evil is absolutely right, with out question right in all possible ways! Apple and Bill Gates should pay Cthulu, modify their software and find holy ground to hide on for the next seven thousand years.