SCENE 1

NIGHT TIME: Interior Bus

Older woman stands at the bus long coat, hat grocery bag in each hand. Bus is stopped at curb with door open. She stops, not moving.

                                    Bus Operator

                                    (Curious)

            You Ok there?

                                    Woman

            Yes

A few beats pass, she is not moving.

                                    Bus Operator

            Are you getting out here?

                                    Woman

                                    (Angry)

            YES!

                                    Bus Operator

            Can I help you in any way.

                                    Woman

            You can lower the damn bus

                                    Bus Operator

            I already did that, that’s why the bus beeped when I opened the door.

                                    Woman

            Bullshit!

                                    Bus Operator

            Ok I’ll give it another try.

Bus river raises bus the lowers it again to the exact same spot.

                                    Woman

                                    (Screaming)

            You see!

            She is till not moving and a moment passes. Woman does not turn to look at driver just looks out the open door.

                                    Bus Operator

                        Is there anything else?

                                    Woman

                                    (Angry)

            You must be new at driving a bus

                                    Bus Operator

                                    (Curios)

                        How else can I help you?

                                    Woman

                                    (Angry)

            Well you can extend the ramp for one thing I’m Handicapped.

                                    Bus Operator

                                    (Relieved)

            Oh well..           

                                    Woman

                                    (Rage Building)

            You drivers are all the same, I’m calling this in you are rude

                                    Bus Operator

                        Ok I’m going to…

                                    Woman

                        I see your bus number 2201 I’m calling that in

                                    Bus Operator

                        That’s fine I need to ask you…

                                    Woman

            You don’t need to ask me anything just put out the ramp.

Riders in the bus start laughing as the Bus Operator leans his head on his hands and elbows on the steering wheel and waits. The Woman because even more enraged by the laughing.

                                    Woman

                                    (Screaming)

            The ramp! The Ramp! Can’t you do your job. I need the ramp

                                    Bus Operator

                        I..

                                    Woman

                                    (Screaming)

                        The ramp! Are you holding me hostage.

                                    Bus Operator

                                    (Forceful)

                        Your standing on the ramp, it flips out of the floor

Woman looks down, shuffles backwards never looking at driver. Crowd in bus roars with laughter as floor section flips open to make a ramp.  As the woman moves forward Bus Operator notices she is having trouble managing he grocery bags.

                                    Bus Operator

                                    (Polite)

                        Would you like some help with your grocery bags?

                                    Woman

                                    (Screaming)

                        I’m not a cripple I can manage on my own.

Roar of laughter from the crowd in the bus. Comments about being handicapped but not a cripple. Once off the bus she turns to face the driver. He  has seen her before and knows this is not her stop. It’s a long walk from Glisan st. to Burnside st.

                                    Bus Operator

                                    (Polite)

                        You want back on.

The laughter in bus stops.

                                    Woman

                                    (Speechless)

                        I…I..

Devil appears on Bus Operators shoulder.

                                                Devil

                                    (Whispering)

                        Leave her ass. Put up the ramp and leave her ass

Angel appear on the other shoulder of the Bus Operator

                                                Angel

                                    (Whispering)

                        Come on now what if this was your mother.

Bus Operators hand lingers over the lift ramp button.

                                                Devil

                                    (Yelling)

                        Do it! Do It!

                                                Angel

                                    (Calm)

                        Don’t do it,

                                                Devil

                                    (Yelling)

                        Make her walk.

                                                Angel

                                    (Calm)

                        What if she can’t make it.

Woman puts her foot back on the ramp and climbs in. Then stands there next to driver without looking at him.

                                                Devil

                                    (Yelling)

                        You will regret this.

                                                Driver

                                                (Polite)

                                    Uh…

                                                Woman

                                                (Screaming)

                                    What!

                                                Devil

                                                (Sneering)

                                    See told ya so

                                                Driver

                        I need you to please step back so I can flip the ramp back up

                                                Woman

                                                (Screaming)

                        Worse driver I have seen in 77 years. I’m calling Trimet.

Driver looks to angle on his shoulder, Angel shrugs and throws up his hand

                                                            Angel

                                    Well, looks like you’re screwed my friend

Devil and angel disappear in puff of smoke as ramp begins to flip back in the bus. Woman sits back down amid laughter on the bus.

All set to go, bus operator takes a big breath and checks mirror. Just as he signals…

                                                            Woman

                                                            ( Screaming )

                                    I WANT THE NEXT STOP!

                                                            Bus Operator

                                                            (calm)           

                                    I know, I know

                                                            Woman

                                                            ( Screaming )

                        The last driver passed my stop up and I had to walk a block back

Slow Fade Out: as woman tells story of the last driver…..

                                                            Woman

                                                            ( Screaming )

                        …I think he meant to do it he was as bad as you……

End:

“It will make then cheaper and easier to get, it will take the crime out it”

This is usually pushed by those who are not riders or drivers on a bus I can promise you that.

Anyone who rides or drives a bus can tell you that people with zero income can’t afford anything! If that drug is thirty dollars illegally and you drop the price to ten, that’s still ten more dollars the druggies don’t have.

So the crime will continue.

The other questions is who is going to pay for your drugs and who is going to pay for your health care when you screw your self up with drugs. Something tells me that if you take all the money from drug sales it will not equal the loss of productivity and the medical bills for those destroyed by drugs.

I'm willing to give drug legalization a chance, we could test it!

Take a small state no one really cares about like Massachusetts, Have them legalize all drugs and see what sort of productive, cost effective wonderland ensues. This way when it fails, why it’s still Massachusetts, who really cares about them.

So many people are removed from the real street level of what is going on in the world. They believe that cheep available drugs would be good. Those way way down here in the streets know that for many addicted to drugs, available inexpensive drugs is a roller coaster ride into an early grave… yes but a very fun roller coaster ride. 

Drugs are used by different people for different reasons and by a few people for made up reasons. Here is an example.

• Guy sprints across parking lot with loaded grocery bags and a dog
• Despite looking like he slept under a bridge, can’t do basic math, has never washed his hair, smells like a campfire dipped in a gym locker room. Despite his dirty 8-month-old pitbull with a bandana (They must be issued to pitbulls on the street) and a leash made of woven yarn.. he knows enough to say that his dog is a "service animal" and there is nothing we can do about him bringing it on the bus.
• He asked me to lower the bus because the 3” rise is too much for him he has “a bad back”  
• This is after he has jumped parking curbs in the parking lot to get to me.

• He has an honored card so he is handicapped in some way and pays a reduced fair.
• Did I say sprinting! grocery bags! And handicap?  yup I did.

• He then walks to the back of my bus and climbs the stairs to the raised back deck. That’s right 3” rise to get in my bus can’t be done but 6” steps no problem.
• Next he sits there and after a while lights up a joint.
• I tell him he can’t smoke on the bus.
• He tells me he has a marijuana card and has glaucoma
• I tell him he has a "get off my bus card" if he doesn’t’ stop

This is the kind of person who is crossing his fingers for legalized drugs. One more thing he can take advantage of. Ends up he didn’t have a card or so the police told me.

Now more Drugs on my bus

 Crack Cocaine- Rock

Bus Driver Ranking

Sleep/Awake- 14 shots of espresso 2 shots of jack

Volume Control- Sister has the Remote and is watching 90210

Horde Multiplier- +50%

Touch Factors- -10%

Denial- 25%

Wild Card- Crazy on the bus

The High of Crack is so short lived that few people get on my bus under its active effect. If they do watch out. This drug takes your brain and dunks it into a high-speed blender with equal parts paranoia and back yard compost.

Crack is devastating not only to nerves but your reasoning skills as well. Crackheads are as fun to talk too as a car wreck. Even off the drug a crack user shows signs of their addiction. Under no condition believe any story a crack head tell you. They are all lies.

 Had one get on my bus saying the man across the street chased her down and raped her. I told her I would call the police. She told me not to call the police that she would “take care of that” but could she get a free ride downtown. I told rape is a crime and I’m not moving until the cops get here. She ran off my bus and hooked up with the guy that “Raped her” and they decided to get on the max train for a free ride downtown.

Never never never trust them, never turn your back on them. Had one try to steal my computer pouch form behind my seat but I had looped the strap around my chair. He worked on it a half-hour but couldn’t find a way to get it. I knew what he was doing but I wanted to see A, how good my security was and B, how long he would try.. 30 Minutes. What’s funny is, it was so obvious and besides, I control the doors. 

Ecstasy - (MDMA)

Bus Driver Ranking

Sleep/Awake- 3 cans jolt cola

Volume Control- Remote lost in the couch

Horde Multiplier- +10%

Touch Factors- -10%

Denial- 1%

Wild Card- Crazy on the bus 

Good old X is a semi-synthetic psychedelic entactogen of the phenethylamine family that is much less visual with more stimulant like effects than most all other common “trip” producing psychedelics.

I’m always getting MDA and MDMA confused. One holds a Telethon once a year hosted by Jerry Lewis accepting money from random donors and the other holds a marathon of clenched jawed twenty something girls sharing cab rides from club to club downtown looking for random sperm donors. I never can keep it clear what one is what.

The only time I really get an eyeful of Ecstasy users is when something goes wrong, then they give up the cab ride life style for a trip on the bus. Gee thanks. People don’t take X to ride the bus, the bus is the fall back position of transportation when X goes bad.

They usually come on in some strange quest for hydration, sometimes foaming at the mouth.. no not like a rabid dog mind you but like my friend Scott used to get a little white in the corner of his mouth when he got talking too fast or got mad.

 With one woman on my bus you could literally see her heart pounding in the veins on her neck.. now that can’t be right. She was very thirsty and anxious to get where she was going. The only problem was she was not sure where she was going, that is until she saw the water fountain, then she flew off my bus.. she may still be there drinking away for all I know. 

MDMA on your bus is really nothing special. Sometimes people will feel like talking more under its euphoric effect but really thats rare. Only the bad trip is common on a bus and its usually female, slightly paranoid and dressed for the dance club. Sometimes you have to guard them from evil guys trying to take advantage of the situation. I went off route once to drop a girl off at her door because I was not sure about these guys on the back of the bus who had been watching her and all of a sudden wanted to get off at the same stop. I let them off the back door, then shut it and drove her right to her door step. 

She lived two blocks from my route so it was no big deal and after all I' a father of a daughter so I had to do something. 

LSD - Acid

Bus Driver Ranking

Sleep/Awake- Both

Volume Control- Any

Horde Multiplier- +50%

Touch Factors- -100%

Denial- 0%

Wild Card- Destructive

 The first time someone asked me about LSD I told them I don't care about the book of Mormon and I'm an Atheist.... Wait that LDS.. once again I'm confused. 

Like not bathing and left wing radicals, Acid is a left over from the 60’s where for a time people thought they could tune into the universe with LSD. Sort of a spiritual cable channel, the only show on that channel  must have been telling them to stay away from showers and supply side economics. 

LSD users that I have run into on the bus come in two flavors. Those that have tripped and those that are about to trip. Often when they are tripping it is accompanied by other drugs so they drink and take acid or they smoke some weed and takes acid. So usually you got a double whammy on your hands.

The funniest thing about people on Acid is how often then will tell you they are on acid. First it’s no surprise they are on acid from how they act but they just flat out tell you.

“Oh man I took some Acid and I’m going to OMSI for the Laser light now” 

Thanks for sharing and enjoy your Pink Floyd. 

Bad trips and sever mental disturbance are impossible to tell apart. Usually when you pull up to a stop and someone looks like they are having a yelling match with a phone pole and is ready to throw down, it could be Acid, To be safe just keep driving. 

People on Acid do not like loud surprising noises. So getting on the PA in the bus and telling them to get down off the seats will often freak them out…

oh and yes it’s a bit fun.

Heroin-  Smack or as I call it “Chicken Head”

Bus Driver Ranking

Sleep/Awake- five Pillow and a hide-a-bed

Volume Control- Shhhh baby sleeping

Horde Multiplier- +0%

Touch Factors- +30%

Denial- 50%

Wild Card- Random crazy if they are freaking out. 

People don’t take drugs because the drugs make them feel bad, drugs make you feel good, hell it makes them feel great. I know that sounds strange to the anti-drug crowd but Heroin is like atomic orgasms to those addicted to it. You can’t argue with atomic orgasms!

People take drugs because they don’t equate the after effects of drug use, the addiction, destruction and depression with their drug use. They only see the upside and the downside they blame on the world. This cause and effect blindness creates a downward spiral ending in bad places or the number 72 bus late at night. 

Ask any bus driver and they will be able to tell you what bus line has Methadone treatment centers. Every morning you scoop up the anxious, nervous and fidgety, deposit them at their “Clinic” and you pick up the relaxed, mellow and happy on your return trip.

The best thing about those on methadone is they become the enforcers for rules on your bus. You have ten methadone users on your bus going to the "Clinic" and all you have to say is “I’m not rolling until..” and they will yell at whatever violator you have until it’s resolved. They are getting to that clinic and don’t you make them late!

Heroin makes people pass out on my bus so I don’t like it. I have seen them near catatonic drooling, wet (not in a good way) bent over and passed out.

Police, fire and medical do what they can but there is no love for the drug head passed out on the bus. Pregnant woman who falls gets A+ treatment heroin users passed out gets the c- treatment. Still a passing grade but there is no love there for you druggie.

 So this is the end of my drugs on my bus rant. Only doing two post for it not three. One last thing I would like to say. There are a few conditions I could accept for drug legalization and here they are. 

1. Those that prescribe to a “Drug card” cant do the following.
   • Drive a car
   • Ride on my bus
   • Can’t make others pay for their medical care
   • vote

1. To get drugs you would have to
   • Take a shower
   • Brush your last remaining tooth
   • After taking drugs, a taxi would take you to the house of the closest person who voted for legalizing drugs and they would have to take care of you until you came down. 

It seems like some simple rules to me, simple rules we could all get behind. 

Those that are for drug legalization should ride the bus with me on Saturday night and enjoy the fruits of their ideals. Hmmm hmm crazy. 

Ok that’s it for me today

You roll easy….and stay clean you nuts

 

As an extra board driver for Trimet you can get any run at almost any time. Your days more often then not are twelve hours long and you often drive one to two routs in a day. If you need a regular work schedule or if you like predictability being on the extra board, maybe not for you.

Out on the street its always unpredictable from accidents to road work to crazy drivers, cars, dump trucks, lights that change without warning, crazy lights on the bus mall, skateboarders, bicycles, pets running around the streets, random potholes, you just never know what’s coming your way.

Unpredictable is the people that ride your bus. Here you will find people of all shapes and sizes. People coming on your bus represent every income level, every social class, every religion and every race. It a crazy mix of nations, languages, cultures and smells.

Of all the random crazy chaotic factors of unpredictability while bus driving by far the one that is as freighting as it is funny is drugs. Pick the drug, any drug you want. Uppers, downers, meth, pot, beer, narcotics, hallucinogenic or video games. People get on the bus stoned, stunned, blown, blasted, high, tight, tweeken, freaking, zoning and zonked.

Now this does not happen all the time but as the hours drag towards night the brain fried come out in stronger and stronger numbers and depending on the run can make anywhere form a single person on a bus to an entire bus load.

Now don’t get me wrong I’m not complaining, it comes with the job and the truth be told I would rather have the indulging on my bus then driving around or sometimes even walking around. On my bus I can get them home or at least to a street near by. As frustrating as it is to deal with sometimes, I feel like if I don’t take the extra step to get them home they will end up injured, in jail or worse.

Each drug brings it’s own delicious batch of behavior problems.

Each one leaves it’s own fingerprints on the psyche of a bus. Some buses can even take on the characteristic like running the Burnside into down town early Saturday night; it’s sort of like New Orleans at Mardi Gras. Contrast that to the last  # 20 Burnside bus through town AKA “The Vomit Comet” and it’s clear to see that people’s state of minds directly effect or sometimes in infect a bus.

Now most drugs have a range of effects but as a bus driver sometimes you don’t see the good. You only see the bad. An example would be people going out drinking and having fun while all is well they stick with it. It’s not until times get bad that they hop on the bus. Oh Joy to that bus driver.

I will now break down the drugs we see the most of and give them the BDR Score (Bus Driver Ranking) Learn these tell tale signs and you will be able choose your seats accordingly.

 Alcohol- The big A, Booze, Juice, Vitamin A

Bus Driver Ranking

Sleep/Awake – Two Pillows

Volume Control – Grandpa has the remote and he has cranked it up

Horde Multiplier-  Squared ( number of drunken square the number of problems)

Touch Factor- 25% increase

Bodily Fluids- +45%

Denial- After drinking +20%, While sneaking alcohol on bus +80%

Conversation- Like to tell you how much they love you

Drinkers are to late night bus driving as texting is to teenagers, It’s annoying and distracting but what can you do? It’s far better to have them on your bus then driving at you in a car.

I could write twenty post on alcohol but instead I will just give you some excuses people use when I catch them drinking on the bus.

“It’s Juice”

“its vitamin Water, Yeah! Vitamin V for Vodka”

“I’m not drinking”

“Shut up and drive your bus I’m not hurting you”

“What, this it’s a coke”

“I don’t have to open my jacket and show you my beer….opps”

“Can’t I just dump it…that’s what I’m doing dumping it down my throat.”

“You can’t kick me off the bus for being drunk and drinking this is America”

“What!”

I don’t mind drunks on my bus but drinking on the bus is right out. 

Also large number of drunk people are dangerous and you have to be careful. It's like walking into the lions pen as the zoo. Run from them and they attack. Too aggressive and they feel threatened and kill you anyway.

There is some justice when the bartenders get off and catch the late bus and have to ride with the people they served. That makes for some fun times. And my favorite quote of all times after a monster regurgitation.

"There you can have all that back!"... Classic

Never saw that bartender again on the #20

Cannabis- Weed, Pot, Herb, my name for it “Stupid Booster”

Bus Driver Ranking

Sleep/Awake- Six Pillows and A heavy Comforter

Volume Control- Aunt Has the Remote, Turns it way down

Hoard Multiplier- No modifiers

Touch Factors- +10%

Denial- 50% half seem happy to admit use

Wild Card- chance of them using “Man” in conversation 100%

 known as marijuana in its herbal form, is a psychoactive product of the plant Cannabis sativa. What can you say about pot that has not already been said. Pot is a bottom feeder drug and by that I mean almost anyone of any income level seems to get access to it.

I always love those life long users of pot who try to convince you that there is no

“Sckientifix proof man that pot… pot… pot. Has like, man, a negative man, effect dude. Like if anything man… hey is that a doughnut shop? Fuck yeah! I want off this bus”

Cannabis users are about as good at conversation as a blindfolded mime. Though somehow they believe that since they are stoned they are tapping into some level of deep intrinsic wisdom. This is never the case but don’t tell them that.

The only good thing about cannabis is that cannabis users always seem surprised that they can’t get organized and active enough to get it legalized. Really? Duh! You’re potheads! now that is irony. 

The nice thing is large groups of pot user have sort of a mellowing effect on one another the opposite of alcohol so it’s my favored drug abuse on my bus. Whales travel in pods, birds in flocks and large groups of Pot Smokers travel in a “Drowsy”

End of Part 1. 

The core issue at question for Khris is

Is he willing to do the job?

Is able to do the job?

Is he available to do the job? 

The answer to all three of these questions are yes. He is willing, able and available.

I think we can say that one of the most painful times you can experience is when two people or groups you know and love are fighting. We have all been there when family members or friends are divided on an issue and both seem bent on the others undoing. One thing for sure is that often times these battles come with a heavy toll above and beyond who is right on any given issue. They can damage and scar far beyond the scope of any debated question.

Many times people are so quick to the fight that they are willing to lose sight of the world around them. They forget they are part of a family or a large group of friends that have been together for years. This vision of place and belonging is replaced by a moral crusade and all that history is simply thrown under the bus. 

Being a bus operator puts us all in the same lifeboat and around this lifeboat swims all sorts of dangerous beast ready to attack. Accidents, mistakes, the media and management are all there, circling and we, we are in this lifeboat together. Not family, not friends we are coworkers who share the same fate. Our lifeboat is our Union and without it we know the sharks would feed at will.

Now though I feel we are at one of those moments when we are seeing a conflict of people we know, love and respect that is threatening our lifeboat. They have lost sight of who we are in our small boat and are on their crusade to be right and have their way even if it means tossing one of our own brothers to the sharks. 

There is a premise amongst the verbal minority that are most active in opposing Khris Alexander and it is the same premise we often hear from those detractors who defame us as bus operators. You will see it on blogs or in the Oregonian or maybe hear it voiced on a talk show. Someone will always say “They should fire all the bus drivers and start over” This is usually in response to some perceived negative issue. We instinctively see this position for what it is, simply emotional baiting, said more for reaction then fact.

This emotional baiting seems to be a mainstay of what is, in a few people, a highly emotional issue. What seems strange to me is years ago when one of our own union members was sneaking money from our own union these same people lacked all moral outrage. Sure once in a while in hushed tones a conversation would be exchanged. Now though we have an emotional minority verbally advocating for the removal of a fellow operator openly in the Powell bullpen.

There are so many problems I have with this approach it would be difficult to express them all here without sounding like an equally emotional zealot in the other direction. The bullpen is one place we all need to use and it is a gathering place for operators to get ready for work, take a break, grab a bite, talk with friends, solve problems, and get information… In short the bullpen is our lifeboat made real.

I find it very disagreeable to have operators willing advocating against another operator in the Bullpen. First off it is assuming that those that are silent, who do not wish to engage in a destructive debate in the bullpen and disturb things more are in agreement with you when they are most definitely not in agreement with you. Second it assumes that you are right, but what if you are wrong? Are you not then by dragging this out making something worse? What I'm saying here is that there are methods and ways of communicating that are wrong even if you are right and Operator Vs. Operator is one of them. 

I find it interesting that most of what I hear from the vocal minority who are on this emotional crusade is issues not relating to the core three questions every member of the executive boar has to answer too and that is

Are they willing to do the job?

Are they able to do the job?

Are they available to do the job?

Not everyone has the passion and devotion to fight, Khris does. He is not afraid to fight and that passion that drives him.. well yes rarely it boils over. Yes, sometimes very rarely he lets his passion run away with him. We have all done this in one way or another and sometimes some of us may have done this in our own bullpen. 

We work in a high-pressure job and add to that a home life and the extra pressure of being new to position of Union Executive Board well that can’t be making it easy. Now no one likes it when a friend lets their passions or anger run away with them. It can make things messy for a while but those things pass, they are not permanent. Who hasn’t taken things out on a loved one or a friend at one time or another, it’s called being human.

Its strange to me that those who holding Khris to some unknown moral measuring stick and blast him for at one time “disturbing the peace of the Bullpen” have no qualms about disturbing the bullpen while on their moral crusade to remove him. Advocating against a fellow bus operator is not acceptable in the bullpen. Not that you should be silent but respecting the one community place we all have to use is important. You see Khris broke this peace for a moment and it hurt no one but himself. Ongoing advocating against an Operator hurts everyone.

My question is what is to be gained by this crusade?

Clearly little or nothing is said about the three core issues of “Are they willing to do the job, Are they able to do the job, Are they available to do the job.” We hear no outcry from those Khris has gone to bat for do we? I asked drivers he has helped out in issues with management and so far none have spoke anything but his praises.

So what is to be gained?

Is the gain so great that polarizing the bullpen and disturbing it as bad as any “meltdown” is acceptable?

 My question to anyone who says “they were there when…” is this. Why didn’t you help him?

If you are on my team and I see you acting out of your character. Maybe your mad, maybe you feel you are not being supported or that someone is acting against you. Maybe you are letting you passion and fire out in a non-helpful way. Well I’m stepping in to help you. I’m getting you clear of the problem to let you think it over.

I asked these witnesses who often claim they were “Hurt” what did you do?

Did you come to his aid and say “hey buddy lets go outside before you say anything else” Or “come with me and lets sit and talk about this for a minute” or did you just watch the fireworks? did you take action or sit on your hands? what do you think the universal answer is?  

Now I have seen Khris grow and learn as he has taken on this position. He is not perfect and neither are all of us. He is a man who has passion and fire and that to me is solid gold when you are sitting across the table from management. That is when the rubber hits the road, that is where he is doing an awesome job. That is where he answers the three questions “Is he willing to do the job, Is he able to do the job, Is he available to do the job.”

I’m not asking Khris to be an angel or perfect.

I don’t care how management feels about him.

I don’t care about the past.

What I do care about is that he is dedicated to his job and determined to do the best he can for each operator at Trimet. When its YOU are sitting across the table from Management who wants your job you are going to want that passion that fight. I don’t know about you but that counts with me. I hope you will see past the emotional flack to the core issues of willingness, ability, and availability. This is what matters in the end, these are the questions he answers with action not talk.

Thank you.

VOTE AGAINST THE RECALL OF UNION EXECUTIVE BOARD MEMBER KHRIS ALEXANDER! VOTES WILL OCCUR; FEBRUARY 15TH 7:30PM AT THE SALVATION ARMY 211 NE 18TH PORTLAND FEBRUARY 16TH 10:00AM AT THE UNION OFFICE 1801 NE COUCH ST PORTLAND

checking your watch

Standing in the rain

Umbrellas child

folder in hand

You came aboard

one of many.

Determined

Dedicated

Ready

Prepared

Clean and Pressed

combed and anxious

On Cell phone, making appointments

Interviews, re-interviews

Call to kids,

dinner arranged for

victory to come.

Energy

Eager

Confident

Certainty

What path have you walked?

What direction to go?

How high

will you reach?

How far

will you soar?

No statistic or

Number you.

Opportunity

Optimism

Future

Hope

Downtown

you marched off

wishing you luck

You disappeared

into destiny arms

Moving in certain

square foreword motion

Experienced

Educated

Skilled

Strong

I remember you

But only after

you staggered aboard

not the same person

Late in the night

on my last run

What happened?

To you this day

Broken

Alone

Broken

Alone

Fist up for just right out strange we have this German show. It looks like some sort of contest, like the Germans ran out of idea for game shows so they have the bus driver game show. It's a bit slow so skip ahead. does this make any sense at all?

Now you may ask why watch these videos.. well even in the one's that are not the bus drivers fault you can learn. I like to keep these images in my head to keep me focuses and sharp. To leave distance and make sure I I'm rolling easy. 

Next up texting while driving. This would be more funny if you could not see it coming but there it is. 

How about my light rail brothers yea! Yea! here is to you and one of my faves.

This is my nightmare, the bolt out of the blue

A great compilation

Repeat after me "keep your seatbelt on"

I want the job as the bus crash test driver

more light rail

Last light rail, This one hurts because you see the white van and you just know it's going to happen.

It almost always happens that the person who starts the fight on the bus gets off the bus first. I think someone underestimated the power of the house wife. 

This is Trimets dream driver he sits there and takes his beating. I don't know how often he gets hit and just sits there, It sucks to be a bus driver. 

 Not much you can do from sitting down. These guys are bozos and obviously come from a country where no one has a gun. I almost laughed when the guy says he has a gun. Yeah and I have a 30 foot anaconda here in my back pack. 

Dangers of the job, unlike my previous job that I may have thought was hard... there was almost zero chance of death. Driving a bus you have this in the back of you head all the time. 

SNAKES ON APLANE!! Goats on a bus

Dont get in front of a bus. I like to call the front of the bus.. the dead zone. People like to get in front of buses here is one reason NOT!

Well that is about it. Not bad for a guy with only a half hour to write a blog. I hope you enjoyed it and remember Bus Driving is like your job only... way more people contact, lots more traffic, random chance of death and if you make a mistake you can kill someone...

Roll Easy You Nuts...

SNOW JOB! 

(For ages 18+ who act like 3 year olds and for up to 1 million players)

That game of winter snows and commuter grief!!!

I really want to market this game I think it would be awesome but then again we play this game in Portland Oregon every time the snowfalls, right? Everyone is looking for someone to blame for the effects of the snow. Now February is the snow month for Portland so believe it or not we could still get some white, stuff so I thought I would address this problem now.

First a little shout out, This goes out to all the complainers in the Portland metro area and I’m almost sure that is half the population. To all those who call the talk shows on the radio, Call in or email TV stations, write blogs, post on twitter or facebook, post comments on web pages and flood the Oregonian. To all you self-important crybabies this is for you, you adult children are turning my once wonderful city into a Bitchtocracy. A government by and for the complainers. I would like to say to you “Stop Your Crying!” Every time a single atom of snow hits the ground these complainers start flooding all the media with their sad stories of winter woe.

Well it’s time someone takes all your complaining asses to task. It’s time someone tells you what your parents should have told you a long time ago. SHUT UP! No one wants to hear you bitch. You are the problem and Just because you can complain doesn’t’ mean what you are saying is valid. So rub both points of IQ together and listen to what I’m about to say.

After you read this, the next time it snows I don’t want to see any “Portland City Screwed up Again” or “Trimet Sucks” or “I waited a half hour for a bus”  After I’m done I will change your diaper and give you a bottle and put you back to bed. So just hang on with me.

Lets look over who normally gets the blame and then lots look over who should get the blame.

Who is blamed: Weathermen

Nothing is worse then hearing imbecilic adult complaining that the weatherman got it wrong. Duh! Portland! How is this news? Haven’t we all seen this from summer to winter before? How is this a suprises? Predicting the weather in Portland is at best a crapshoot. Sorry children the weatherman cannot be 100% accurate I hate to break that news to you but its true. Weathermen base their weather predictions on computer models based on the past. The problem is it’s not accurate all the time and

 The way people talk about weathermen I keep getting an image of a man in black, twirling his mustache while laughing an evil laugh while saying “I will tell them it won’t snow and it will hahahahahha” The only worse then trying to live with the weather predictions is trying to live without it.

Who Should Get the Blame: 

The pacific ocean: the pacific ocean is a great big chaotic nightmare that adds moisture to our sky and winds in our faces. It’s fickle and can change in hours for no reason at all.            

Mountains and Hills: We have the Cascade range to the East, the pacific coast range to the west and we are in valley in-between them. Check it out it’s true, I saw it on a map. This makes it hard to figure out what way the winds will blow and how must moisture will be trapped by the hills.           

The Gorge: This is a gap cut by the Columbia river through the cascade range. One of the only gaps of it’s kind. So when the low pressure comes in off the coast. Cold weather is sucked down the valley form the high desert east. This makes for great wind surfing but also reeks havoc in weather prediction.

Big Rivers: Each river through Portland also effects the weather. We have two major rivers the Columbia and the Willamette each have their own effect.

Jet Stream: You may not see it, but the jet stream shift back and forth across northern Oregon shunting rain north or south and changing quickly.

The Solution: If you want more accurate weather forecasting, Stop the rivers, Bulldoze down all mountains, drain the pacific ocean, fill in the gorge and build a giant wall to block the jest steam.

Complainer Realization: Really? You mean the weatherman is not 100% accurate? Wow I never knew that. Did someone tell the Easter Bunny and  Santa?

Who Is Blamed: City of Portland And ODOT

The City of Portland and the Oregon Department of transportation both work very hard when the freezing weather is on the way. Because the complainers work in some office downtown or a call center in Beaverton they may not see what goes on when the weathermen predicts ice and snow. They don’t see the trucks deploying sand and gravel setting up or deicer being sprayed on the bridges. Nope, all the preparation that goes into the game of fighting the snow is behind the scenes.

Even if we wanted too plow every road we can’t. We just don’t get enough snow in the Portland Metro area to justify having an army of plows that Chicago or New York may have. We have to make due with less.

The more snow that falls the more we have to do triage. That is a little doctors talk and you will hear about it whenever there is a disaster like in Haiti. You can’t save everyone, you have to put them in order of people you can save and people that can wait and here is the rub. Some people you can’t save. That’s triage, getting the most for you time and efforts. That’s what the plows have to do because we don’t have enough to go around.

 A year ago in the big snow I was out for long hours every day. I saw the same road crews in trucks plowing and sanding the streets. Saw them every day at all hours. Waved to them and became familiar with them because they were working like hell.

The fact is we have to make due in the snow. The heavier the snow the more we have to do triage. There are no shortcuts or magic. They are out there working hard even if you don’t see them. Even if they don’t plow your road, trust me they are out there.

Who Should Get The Blame:

Idiots: Those who go to work expecting that they are going to magically hover over the ice on the way home. Only to abandon their cars blocking traffic. You abandoned your car in the road you are to blame

4WD: Nothing instills that feeling of invincibility like 4wd. If you ended up getting in an accident because you thought it was great that you had 4wd in the snow you are the problem.

Going To Fast Guy: No matter chains or not going to fast guy leads to accident and collision guy. This slows up traffic horribly. 

Here is a link to all three above drivers 

The Solution: Spend A gazillion dollars on a fleet of snow trucks that will sit and do nothing for all year until we get one or two snow falls. Maybe take the cost of this out of the schools budgets. I would say with 500 snowplows we could about bankrupt our city. To save money we could staff them with unemployed teachers. This would make all the complainers happy but it’s not workable.

Complainer Realization: Wait Mr. bus driver what you’re saying is the city and ODOT cant fix everything at once. Wait I thought there was a magic winter wand they could wave? Wow! I never knew that, Its not all about me? Wow!

Who Gets The Blame: Trimet Gets the Blame

If you would listen to the complaints you would think that there was a magic tunnel under Rocky Butte to a Walt Disney like Bus Driver Land. Where all the drivers of Trimet hid out to play pool, sit in the hot tub and watch movies on a big screen during the snow. All the time laughing at the riders shivering at the stops.

Now I’m no suck up to the management of Trimet but I will say this. When the snows hits they are trying every trick in the book to keep us on the road running. Little things like leaving busses running at night, pointing them away from the ice and snow so they are not frozen up. Opening up work bays with pressure washers to take off the ice on windshields, countless chain crews to do repairs.

But here is the problem.

buses start rung at three fifty in the morning so do you chain them up for the possibility of snow twelve hours latter? If you do they are limited to run 25 miles an hour on chains so every bus will be late all day. Now if there is no snow what are you going to do? To get the chains off after you just spent all that over time money putting them on? What now? Send out crews to take them off? Maybe recall every bus to the garage to remove the chains?

So every morning the big heads of Trimet have to make the call. Will it be a dusting of snow and we don’t need chains or will it be heavy snow and we will. When will the snow hit and will we have to run on chains all day for no reason. How will we get all our busses chained up because it takes a while. If they chain up early and the snow doesn’t happen what then?

What it comes down too is a crapshoot. You have the weatherman giving us his best guess and the management of Trimet makes their guess on how to chain up. Chaining up every bus takes time and cost money, unchaining every bus takes time and cost money. Running with chains and no snow causes delays because a bus is limited on speed, Running on snow without chains a bus has to move slower and many of them can get stuck, Running on chains in snow means you have to go slow anyway. 

Who Should Get The Blame

Logistics: The fact that it takes time and money to chain up and take off chains for an entire fleet of buses.

Mechanical Reality: once chained a bus has to travel at 25mph. slowing up all buses and traffic snow or no snow.

Blocking: Accidents, collisions and abandoned cars cause busses to slow down or stop.

Physics and Random Chance: Every hour Trimet is in operation in the snow, buses get stuck, held up or hit so service degrades.

Solution: Make a machine that will magically stop all snow from falling. Or pass a law making it only legal to snow at predictable levels at set times. Creation of an affordable flying bus. 

Complainer Realization: Wait you mean even if every bus was chained the day it started to snow at three PM they would still be late because they are driving 25MPH? Wow I never thought of that. Wait you mean if it snows the buses will go mostly slower then 25mph? oh wow.

Who NEVER Gets the blame!

There are a few things that never seem to get the blame. While Trimet is throw chains on busses, while weathermen are trying to do their best to predict the weather in a difficult spot like Portland. While the city is doing all it can to get things right and plow as much as they can. While all this is going on lets see who is squeaking by without much blame at all. 

The Commuter: Mr. Drive too fast, 4wd god of the road, Mrs. I will float home above the ice and snow without chains And walk away from the problem driver all seem to never get the blame. I think all these people in order to get towed should have to have a bumper sticker put on their car that says “Idiot In The Snow” and have to leave it on for a year.

Geography: A friend form Indiana show up in Portland one winter day. He was shocked that with a few inches of snow the city was shutting down. He laughed and went to the store to show me how it was done. Hours later after the tow truck had pulled him out of someone’s back yard he commented. “There’s mountains here, We don’t have those” Yes hills make buses either go around, stop or get stuck same with cars.

Expectations of Commuters: can we all just agree that when it snows just like last year and the year before and the year before back to the start of time that Portland is going to be a snarled mess of frozen bridges and tied up road? How is this new? How come every year people seem to reset there expectations back to the irrational setting? I think it’s the same way the guy who abandons his car in front of my bus almost trapping me on a curb, gets in my bus and complains that I’m taking too long…. WHAT!

THIS HAPPENS EVERY YEAR!!!

So next time it snows in Portland lets do something crazy lets pretend… just pretend to be adults. Lets assume everything is going to be messed up. It if isn’t great! But lets assume no buses will run. The streets will be impassable it will be awful .

If you make it home an hour late you will feel lucky. If your bus shows up forty-five minutes late you will feel blessed. And if you go near the internet or phone to call or text a complaint hit yourself in the head with a hammer.

Stop your bitching!

Snow misery is a fact, It’s going to happen again and it will keep happening and no amount of finger pointing  or articles in the Oregonian or meetings will change it.

TOUGH!

It’s winter.

If your are upset, move back to California.

What ever you do shut up! Stop complaining and be prepared. Stop thinking that the city or Trimet or anyone has the magic weather wand that can, with a wave be prepared for winter for you. 

The politicians won’t tell you to shut up because they can’t, the media loves bitching so they will eat up your complaints with a spoon but that does not mean you are right or have a clue about what is going on or why you had to wait a half hour for a bus.

GROW UP!

There I vented... Now, everyone else, Roll Easy out there.

            When you mention Trimet or mass transit you normally hear about drivers. It’s sounds like an old spaghetti western movie because you hear the good, you hear the bad, and you hear the ugly. (Warning this is not the last time I will reference a Clint Eastwood movie) Overall drivers dominate the picture of any transit system. But like a good iceberg or a bad Umberto Ecco novel much more lays unseen bellow the surface.

Since I’m a driver I usually write my blog with the drivers perspective in mind. I started this blog to tell you about the human side of being a driver, the side you seldom hear about. But like the extended DVD collection of season 1,2 and 3 of 24 you can only do so much of one thing in a row before you want to do harm to your self or throw your remote into the sink disposal.

“TAKE THAT JACK BOWERS!”

So today I would like to talk to you about someone other then drivers and that crazy bunch of folks I like to call passengers. It’s time to spread the great big Trimet Confidential hug over someone else, you know hugging like my new age uncle at Christmas. 

So lets talk about the Road Supervisor.

Despite the name the road supervisors do not supervise roads but they do supervise buses on road.  Just like Ice Fishermen don’t fish for ice… Ok I’m getting carried away.

Before I go on think back to when you were fifteen. Running at school across the green grass of the football field, Nice spring day, all is well, that smell of fresh cut grass. Maybe you have to dodge a broken beer bottle or two but no worry because you are running and it’s wonderful. Feel the grass on your feet, the wind in your hair.

 Ok this image has nothing to do with the story right now but we will come back to this image latter. Just put it in your memory pocket right in the empty slot that Tonya Harding used to fill. .

 So where was I?

Oh yes. Road Supervisors.

You may have seen them here or there in their white Trimet Pickup trucks or sports utility vehicle with yellow lights on top, or you may see them walking around in white shirts at major transit centers when there is something big going on.  Maybe you seen them along parade routes where they try to sneak block long trains through between marching bands playing Louie Louie

 Like bus drivers the Road Supervisors have a hard, multifaceted job. Here are some of the many hats they have to sport in a day. By hats I mean jobs, not hats that say Budweiser. I think that is not allowed by Trimet rules and it would be a little disturbing to see on a supervisor. A bit like a mailman with a Smith And Wesson hat.

Hat 1:  The Enforcer- Like Clint Eastwood in dirty Hairy except without the cool shades and the 44 magnum. (See told you more Clint)  they are in change of not only enforcing of the rules but also being an informer of the rules and finding the balance between those two missions. A driver running early may just be careless, or may have a faulty BDS machine or they may be just running early to be mean to the driver behind them. Either way it’s the Road supervisor who is the front line of keeping things rolling along on time.

Hat 2: Light Duty Mechanic- They are also part time mechanics. Mostly veteran drivers themselves they have seen it all. They know short cuts to get things working when you think nothing will make bus run. They can fix the fair boxes… don’t get me started on those chrome little R2D2’s that cause so much trouble.

Hat 3: Traffic Directors- They're also there to help in emergency situations. Police actions, fires and anything else that comes up that might block the flow of traffic. Often you will see a Trimet Road Supervisors there helping out directing and keeping things safe for everyone.

Hat 4: Problem Solver- Like Vanilla Ice you got problem yo! they’ll solve it. Road supervisor are the on fly problem solvers. When something breaks down and doesn’t work you need drivers to move buses and Road Supervisors to help people get to those buses and make a workable plan.

Hat 5: Inspector Clouseau- except not klutzes though some have men named Kato who attack them randomly.. I’m told. They fair inspect on buses and trains, making sure everyone is paying their share. This is not always a safe job but they do it anyway. Some day when they come on your bus listen to the people groan as they realized they are caught!

Hat 6: The Cavalry- They are there to back you up when something goes wrong on your bus. I had a huge altercation break out on my bus and spill out into the street. The road supervisor was right there for me helping make things right. Getting a bus to cover my next run so I could cool down and have a drink of water. Fantastic!

 There are many many more hats, as I write this I’m sitting at Gateway Transit Center in SE Portland Oregon doing extra service. This means I have a radio and I’m waiting for something to break down or fail for me to swoop in and save the day. I’m listening in on the radio to the road supervisors and the work they are doing. I don’t hear everything but here is a list of what I know they are working on. 

Re-rout for route 15 because of a fire.

Fixing a dollar jammed in a fair box.

I see a road supervisor asking someone not to smoke on the train platform

Another one stopping a guy from doing stunt work on his bike right next to the rolling trains.

They are responding to a bus driver who needs help with someone on their bus

One is trying to get information for another transit system not connected to Trimet for a customer.

One is responding to a bus that hit a tree with its mirror.

We have a bus with a possible radiator leek being checked out.

This is all going on and this is just what I know about! This doesn’t count things going on over with rail and rail supervisors.

You see you may ride Trimet for years and never see or notice those men and women in white. You may never know the long hours they put in. All the little jobs they do from calling tow trucks, to moving road cones back where they should be or calling help for someone in need. Those things don’t make headlines but I can tell you these people are aces. They really make a difference.

Every transit system on earth has their version of the road supervisors. From Germany to the UK, France, Canada, Japan, to cities like Seattle, Boston, and New York. Whatever they are called it’s all the same. The road supervisors are out there.  They are the great force multiplier for your transit system.

Now remember that image I told you to hold you hold in reserve. The one when you were 15 in better shape running along the grass… well the one thing you were not thinking of when you were imaging this image was your heart. Your heart is like the road supervisors. If they are doing their jobs well you won’t hardly notice them, you won’t even think of them. But just try running without a heart… I don’t recommend it.  

You see everyone notices when something fails. What you never see is all the failures that are prevented by good people like the Road Supervisors. The problems they solve and the good they do is mostly never seen because if it’s done well, services keeps on rolling uninterrupted. In this way Road Supervisors are like the heart, unnoticed when all is well but problem if they are missing. 

See I told you that image would come in handy.

Yup and two Clint Eastwood References as well,  I think my mission is done here. 

Hats off to all the Road Supervisors, my job is safer and more sure because of you.

Roll easy my friends.

And to you Road Supervisors you especially roll easy and thank you.

KGWs one sided story.

Now I know this driver and know he is not a nut. If a fight started I'm sure it was not one sided. I believe that the DA not pressing charges sort of backs this up.

So the question remains, why is this bus driver out of a job?

See one of the problems is this; Lots of people know that bus drivers want to keep their jobs. So they believe that it's open season on bus drivers. We get punched, hit, spit on and we seldom resist. I have been threatened to the point that I feared for my life. To the point that if I had a weapon there would have been a dead body and that would not have been me.

Trimet would love it if every driver had a black belt in opossum style Kung Fu. You know, where the driver sits there does nothing and gets the crap knocked out of them. That would be a liability lawyers dream and that would be trimets dream, especially those that do not sit in the drivers seat and never have.

This opossum style Kung Fu does not extend to the time you are not behind the wheel. Uniform or no if you are threatened you can defend your self just like any human being on earth. You no longer are a punching bag.

If there is no crime, this driver deserves his job back its as simple as that.

One thing I can say for sure is I don’t think this so called “victim” will be engaging in an altercation with a driver any time soon for that this bus driver has done us all a favor.

his writer gets it! and does a great job covering transportation.

Both Joseph and I have one thing in common, we hold people accountable for what they say, even if we agree with them most of the time.  

Here is the best example I have seen in a while a blog post everyone in Portland should read. 

 Hard Drive By Joseph Rose

I always love how people dismiss something they say before they say it, as an excuse for what they are going to say. Like "I don't mean to sound racist but..." then they go on to say something racist? Or "were not equating ourselves to the Dr. King and the civil rights movement but.." 

The bike movement is at it's best when it represent reasonable steps to bring safety to the streets. It is at it's worse when it sees it's self as a religion or a crusade to enlighten the poor car bound savages. 

Go on Joseph, Call them as you see them.