Sonnetoptics.net

            So we are here at the end of another year. 2009 says goodbye just as 2010 roars right in. We all know that our calendars is just a construct, made by us, to serve us and has no real connection to the physical world where ever day something ends and something starts. However, one cannot help but treat the end of the years as something special, something important. New years is a time for reflection and a time for us to commit to something even if we know it’s something we are not going to accomplish. New years in many ways becomes a transition between what we are and what we would like to be.

             So here is my resolution. In the last year I have used this blog to do two things, one showed the drivers are human and two to show that everyone can take action to make a better world one person at a time. I’m not much for big causes. I’m big on you and me and fixing things here in our world. I think I have plumbed that as much as I can and so this year I plan to be a little more of the bulldog a little more of an advocate. 

            You see there are those that would try to convince you that drivers are evil, stupid brutes and then there are those who focus on the bad as a way of furthering their own aims. For the Oregonian it’s increase circulation when what ever flavor of the month complaints come around, for the goof balls in the Riders Unions it’s recognition for their otherwise unknown self appoint importance. For Trimet management it will be how much we are over paid and over privileged. So this year, I’m going to call them as I see them. When I see the wrong, I’m calling it out. I will be fair and honest but I won’t just sit back.

            I’m not turning this blog into some sort of crusader manifesto. I will not change what I do just add to the mix; of what I already do.  Humor, stories and love will still be my calling card. Once in a while though BANG! I will put up my dukes for a little fighting. Especially the Oregonian better beware because I’m on to them and their binary reports that are either informational about the system. “New max line opening” and always crappy about operators “Look what they’re doing now”

            Ok back to the fun.

            As you’ve read the one of the hot zones for Trimet is around Clackamas Town Center Mall at Christmas. It’s a very busy mall and our stops and termination point for the MAX train is there inside the mall. So is our lay over, where we get food, water and bathrooms and if we are lucky a few minutes to stretch our legs. Around Christmas time it takes a half hour to get through the mall or longer. Left unchecked this would suck up have the buses on the east side and spit them out an hour late. Something has to be done

But what?

You know what this calls for? A holiday poem about driving a bus! Happy Holidays my friends. Without you and all your love I don’t know what I would do.  Have fun.

The Phantom Layover 

Christmas to new years such fun and such cheer

But Clackamas Town Center the bus drivers fear.

Cars in a line as far as you can see

Buses as late as a bus drivers can be.

Each year this is always a pain

Each year guess what? It’s always the same.

Remodel, redesign  or change traffic flow

Add turn lanes, add cross walks.. nothing but slow

Bus system text messages we receive alerting beware!

Don’t go in to the Mall but then the question, Where?

Where do we go when things all get jammed

What’s the idea, what is the plan?

One day we circle in one drive and out

No bathrooms, no water we sit and we pout

The next day we have flaggers that ease the pain

We charge through the mall using turn lanes.

The next day we layover in the middle of the street

Then slip into the mall without missing a beat.

Every day we try as hard as we can

Every day we’re hit with a new transit plan

Then last night it happen isn’t a joke

Last night it happened everything broke.

The day after Christmas shopper descended in mass

The message went out, a reroute at last!

Go here, then go there, turn left and turn right

Like playing hide and seek with your bus late at night.

We had never done anything like it before

To move our layover so far from the stores.

Directions were bad the night very dark

We all drove around looking to park.

At intersections other lost buses we shrugged and we waived

As some of us went this way some of us stayed.

Way over here and way over there we went

Until all our breaks were finally spent.

Everyone pissed, everyone yelling it’s unfair

To look for a layover that isn’t even there.

So back we all drive bladders busting with pain

Start our runs to enjoy two hours of pain.

Legs are knotted, back spasms start to flare

All because of a layover that wasn’t ever there.

KISS Keep it simple stupid, you will here people say

Oh no not Trimet, not on this fateful day.

Read you’re your bus message system text

In the dark, while your lost but don’t get in a wreck.

Calls for help went forward on radiophones

No changes forthcoming from management clones.

From on high silence nothing... zip

Maybe they hoped it would be clear on our next trip.

People in the freezing wind at stops were all pissed

“Where is my bus I got work I can’t miss”

What’s your name, what’s your number I’m calling your boss

When I tell them the buses they want are all very lost.

I would love you to call and complain

But nothing will change it all stayed the same.

Blaming the bus drivers was really unfair

They were lost looking for a layover not really there.

Now I’m sure on a map the plan all looked well

They drove it in trucks by daylight oh how swell

Got here and go there turn left and turn right.

Turns out to be Greek in the dark of the night.

No info, no plan, no change, no fix

Drive in the dark, drive in the sticks

Sometimes in life things go wrong even if it’s unfair

But adapting a plan shows somebody cares

But when nothing changes no matter how upwardly screwed

It’s someone saying “oh drivers  F.U.”

The plan never changed the drivers were screwed

Now people wonder why driver are rude.

Drivers I talked too agreed all the same

Just drive into the mall and take all the blame.

Who cares if it takes and hour off our day

We will get to bathrooms we all will get paid.

Then, oh then, how the management clones will all wine

But I’ll use the bathroom and I’ll feel fine.

I will do it without worry, without a pinch of care

I won’t look for layovers that aren’t really there.

The End

Are you ready to have a great year? 2010 will be the best year ever for you and me and Portland. We can all make it so. 2010 The year everything changed.

I’m out of here, got to drive a bus

Roll Easy My Friends, Roll Easy

--Dan